3 Signs you might be an anxious mom
As moms we are prone to worrying about our babies, that’s part of the job. Are they doing well in school? Are they happy? Do they have friends? Are they being safe when the go out? Worrying about your child is normal but there is a point where the worrying can become too much.
As moms we are prone to worrying about our babies, that’s part of the job. Are they doing well in school? Are they happy? Do they have friends? Are they being safe when the go out? Worrying about your child is normal but there is a point where the worrying can become too much.
So how do you know when you’ve crossed the line from normal, everyday mom worry to being an anxious mom? Here are 3 signs that you might be a mom who has anxiety.
You worry an abnormal amount about your own death and who will take care of your children if/when you die. Granted we can’t control what happens to us and if we are going to die but if you find yourself overly fixated on it, convinced that at some point you are going to orphan your children, this might be a sign of anxiety.
You won’t let anyone, not even your partner, help with the kids. This can be anything from helping to make the school lunches, picking the kids up after school, buying the new soccer cleats, teaching them to drive. Letting someone else helps means that you won’t get to oversee it and make sure whatever it is, isn’t done properly. If things are not done “right” then the question comes up for you “What does this mean for my child?”, “Am I a bad parent?”, “Are people going to think I’m a bad mom?”
Saying goodbye is more distressing for you then it is for your child. No matter what age they are, you worry when they leave the house or when you drop them off at school. You struggle with scary thoughts or images about their safety and you call the cell phone or text them frequently to check in on them.
If any of this sounds familiar, you may be an anxious mom.
To find out more about therapy and to learn more about how therapy may help you with anxiety, check my therapy page for moms or my FAQ page.
Being a parent does mean that you have to struggle with anxiety and worry. When you are ready, call me at (619) 383-1900 to schedule your appointment.
Drinking to cope with motherhood
Today women juggle more responsibilities and have more stress than any other generation before them. They feel pressure to be the perfect parent, bring in an income that allows for a nice house and to pay for their kids soccer and ballet lessons. When at work they feel pressure to be home, when home they feel pressure to be the fun and sexy wife, when with their children they are worried about work. It feels that life is always moving, they are never where they “should” be
I often work with women who are struggling with how to manage the stress that comes with being a mom, partner, employee, friend and much more. Today women juggle more responsibilities and have more stress than any other generation before them. They feel pressure to be the perfect parent, bring in an income that allows for a nice house and to pay for their kids soccer and ballet lessons. When at work they feel pressure to be home, when home they feel pressure to be the fun and sexy wife, when with their children they are worried about work. It feels that life is always moving, they are never where they “should” be, they are never doing enough and never feeling successful. With all of this pressure it can be easy to turn to drinking as one tool to shut down the constant pressure that many women are feeling today.
It is possible for people to have a healthy relationship with alcohol and you might just be one of those people. But for some women, drinking is becoming a normal tool to manage the stress that often comes along with raising children and trying to have a happy marriage. Below is a short checklist of signs that you may be relying on drinking in order to manage stress.
__You drink more or for longer periods than you intended to.
__You have tried to stop drinking before but couldn’t.
__Drinking is starting to interfere with taking care of your family.
__Drinking more to get the desired effect (decreased stress, feeling relaxed, etc)
These are just a couple of signs that drinking may be becoming a problem.
If you think you may be drinking to much try and stop for a week, see what happens and how you feel about your alcohol intake. Notice what comes up for you during that week, was it hard? Easy? Did you enjoy more time with your kids or notice less arguing with your husband? Or maybe you fought more with your husband and were on edge with the kids all week.
If you noticed that it was hard to give up drinking, therapy may be able to help. Depending on your needs therapy may be able to help you manage your stress, decrease anxiety and depression, improve your relationship with your partner, family and friends, and to decrease your alcohol use.
I would love to help you on your path towards feeling better. To schedule an appointment call (619) 383-1900 or email gwendolyn@gwendolynnelsonterry.com
Gwendolyn Nelson-Terry is a licensed marriage and family therapist located in the Hillcrest neighborhood of San Diego, CA.