We all have a certain level of programming that we bring with us as we go through life and as we enter and are in relationships. This programming is partly made up by the experiences we had as children and comprise much of how our parents or primary caregivers treated us. From birth to around the age of 7 our brain is doing a lot of learning and changing. These early experiences with caregivers get solidified into our brain and they become the basis for our programming.
Read moreWhy We Stay Stuck & How to Get Unstuck
“Change involves a surprising amount of loss, the familiar” - Lori Gottlieb
How is fear of change keeping you from moving forward in your life? How is it keeping you from creating the life you want? How is fear of change keeping you from achieving life goals? How is it holding you back from happiness?
Read moreValentine's Day Every Day: A Blog Post On Building Gratitude In Your Relationship
One thing that Covid has made abundantly clear is that we don’t know what the next moment holds, we can’t take things or people for granted and that their are many, many unknowns out there. Knowing how precious each moment is, knowing how important our relationships are, every day we should should be striving for gratitude in those relationships; mom, sister, partner, friends, daughters, sons, all relationships.
Read moreWhy Your Conversations Turn Into Fights
Ever say something normal to your partner like, “hey, the kitchen is super messy”, only to have it turn into a full blown fight? Or have you ever had your partner say something to you like “Star Trek is better than Star Wars” and find yourself in a 3 day argument?
Seemingly normal conversations with our partners can easily turn into huge fights when our triggers are left unchecked.
What is a trigger? Great question, I’m glad you asked. A trigger is a topic, story, gesture, face, movement
Read moreIt Doesn't Matter Who Is "Right", What Matters Is How You Listen To Each Other
It’s not uncommon for a couple to find their way into my office in the midst of an argument, each person wanting to declare to me why they are “right” and why I should tell their partner they are “wrong”. Couples are often surprised to hear me say in response, “It doesn’t matter who is right or wrong. You don’t need to agree or disagree with one another, you just need to listen.” So unsatisfying, am I right?
Read moreWhen Your Family Makes You Feel Like a Disappointment: How to Survive Thanksgiving & the Holiday's
It’s that time of the year again, the time when our family members feel free to ask awkward questions, questions that leave us feeling like the family disappointment. You love your family but you dread this time of the year because it brings up questions about your relationship, your career choices, and discussions on all the ways you have let your family down.
Read moreThe Importance of Stating a Positive Need
Picture this: You walk in the door after a long day. You’re tired, you need to feed the kids, you just can’t wait to slip on your sweats and relax in front of the TV. As you walk down the hallway you notice dirty socks on the ground, you go into the kitchen and once again your partner has left his breakfast dishes on the counter, you go into the front room and find your partner sitting on the couch watching TV and they look up from the TV and say “Hey babe, what’s for dinner?”.
Read moreA Simple Tool That Will Make a Huge Impact In Your Next Relationship Conflict
Most couples when they come to see me talk about their arguing, they just can’t seem to get beyond it, they don’t feel heard, and they feel like their partner just doesn’t get them. They keep having the same fights, talking about the same issues and getting no where. Often, by the time they make an appointment to see me one or both par
Read moreIs it ever OK to comment on someone's weight?
A client recently asked me “is it ever OK to talk to someone about their weight?”. We had been discussing her feelings around her body and the messages that she received as a kid growing up. This client was in the process of trying to understand how her parents apparent concern for her health had set her up for a lifetime of believing that her body was wrong. If she couldn’t receive this message from her parents, could she receive it from anyone else?
Read more3 Coping Skills to Try When Feeling Disappointment
It felt really vulnerable and scary. You put yourself out there, risked being seen, and the worst case scenario happened. Maybe you tried for that job promotion, or you asked that cute guy at the coffee shop out. Whatever it was, you took a risk and are now left feel disappointed, self critical, and a little ashamed.
Read moreWhat Feelings Am I Having?
Before you can address an uncomfortable feeling you need to first be able to label the feeling that you are having. Our bodies and our brains communicate our feelings to us in many ways.
Read moreFeelings: Good or Bad?
You may have noticed throughout my blog and website that I refer to feelings as uncomfortable and comfortable. That’s because
Read moreAn Assignment
“I can’t remember the last time I just sat outside and enjoyed the sun on my face”. I can’t help but wonder, why is it so hard for us, as women, to take care of ourselves. Not only is it hard for us, we feel like we have to justify it when we do with statements like “I didn’t have
Read moreYour Relationship After Baby
Even the best of couples can feel off in their relationship after a baby arrives. Exhaustion has set in, routines have changed, and you are in the midst of renegotiating household responsibilities. As the kids get older it can continue to feel as if you and your partner are no longer spending time
Read moreMorning Routines - Tips for Busy Moms
This week I thought we’d focus on morning routines. Morning routines can look a little less sexy than evening routines. Having kids often means we wake up and are in go mode until the kids get to school. Finding shoes, finishing homework, making sure everyone has their lunch, ate breakfast, and is clear on
Read more5 Affirmations for When You Feel Like a Bad Mom
Any woman who has ever been a mom knows intimately that deep guilt that creeps in every once in awhile. Mom guilt, that sneaky asshole can hit at any time for any reason. When at work we can be overcome with guilt for not being at home, when at home we feel guilt for thinking about work, when we are with our partners we feel selfish for being away from the kids. A lot of times the things we feel most guilty for are the things we most need, the things that make us whole, functioning, normal, human beings.
Read more5 Affirmations For Anxiety
Affirmations are a great way to disrupt an uncontrollable thought pattern or to disrupt a thought that is on a loop. Affirmations can also help you start to rewire the brain so that you experience more calm throughout your day. Once the brain recognizes the affirmation
Read moreHow to Stop Feeling Anxious - 3 Quick Strategies to Try When You are Over Taken by Anxiety
When you’re in the middle of anxiety it can be hard to know what to do to help yourself gain control and to calm the anxiety. Here are 3 quick strategies to try that may help you when you are feeling anxious.
Read moreTips for Talking to your Therapist
Wondering what to say to your therapist? Worried you won't know what to share once you are in the room. Here is a link to an article that may be able to help.
Read moreWhat is Self Care?
They love being a mom so much, they forget about everything else in their life, and one day they wake up and they have nothing left to give. It’s at this point, where they feel they have nothing left to give, that they wander into my office.
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